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Raising Boys and Girls Podcast: Consistent Parenting Show Notes

The Raising Boys & Girls podcast is here to help you make 2021 your best year yet!

Have you ever wondered why experts say consistency is the most important thing to master as a parent? And have you felt defeated because it’s actually the hardest part of parenting? Join Sissy Goff, David Thomas, and Melissa Trevathan this week as they share grace-filled insights, practical strategies, and Bible truths to help you be a more consistent parent. 

Connect with Sissy, David, and Melissa at raisingboysandgirls.com

Connect with Minno at podcast.gominno.com

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Books, Podcasts, Blog Posts, and Resources Mentioned in the Show

Parenting with Love and Logic book

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Consistency comes when we parent out of love, not out of fear. Melissa Trevathan

Quotes, Questions, and Helpful Information

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Discipline is an extended and carefully managed event. Not a sudden, spontaneous reaction to a child’s behavior. Walter Wangerin

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All parents struggle with consistency, especially in regard to discipline.

  

The two biggest mistakes parents make in regards to discipline:

Too much talk.

Too much emotion.

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Consistency and follow-through are key in terms of discipline. 

When you give a consequence to a child and they say they don’t care, they are lying. Most of the time that child has a personality that wants to win or they need to get in the last word. They are trying to win the argument. 

When a child acts out and we give a consequence we are regulating them. We need to help them learn self-regulation.

• Start with a warning system.
• Give consequences that build on themselves so kids see cause and effect. 

Boys are skilled negotiators.  

Because they are not great at self-regulation they do what’s called anchoring. They anchor themselves to you and pull you down with them so you can do the work of regulation for them.

 

When you are in a game of emotional tug of war with your child, you need to drop the rope.

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Avoid power struggles at all cost but if you end up in one you need to win it. 

If we let kids get away with being the worst version of themselves, that’s who they will believe they are. 

Consequences have to be enforceable.  

Short-term consequences are best. 

Read about the energy drain in the book, Parenting with Love and Logic.

Paying back the energy they took from you with a consequence.

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3 Intentional Practices:

• Use a family code word as a warning.
• Make a list of your kids’ currency that can be used as consequences.
• Choose your battles.

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Anchoring Truth: Melissa Trevathan  

There should be a consistency that runs through us all. For Jesus doesn’t change—yesterday, today, or tomorrow, he’s always totally himself. Hebrews 13:8 MSG

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The wise measure their words. Proverbs 10:19 MSG