I could see the sun rising just outside our front door. Our eight year old was wide awake well ahead of any decent hour, thanks to the time change. My heart was heavy because I had a sense about what the day may hold. I’m certain it was the Lord leading me to make a quick cup of coffee and ask my already energetic son to join me on the porch and watch the sun come up.
It wasn’t a perfect moment like you might be imagining. My coffee cup was too full and spilling over on to my dusty, dirty hardwood floors as we headed outside into the chilly morning. I carried my heavy heart and a cozy blanket out the door along with a tinge of guilt for not having a cleaner house. He was super fidgety and I knew there wasn’t much of a chance he’d sit still long enough to share a sweet moment together. Still I decided to trust the leading of the spirit I’d felt had led me to be still in the midst of the the unsettledness I felt around me.
We’d learned the day before that my Aunt, who’s been a special person in my life, was not doing well after an unexpected surgery. So as I took in the beauty of a new day and leaned into the promises of His new mercies while the sun rose, I was concerned it might be the date I lost someone very special to me. This provided me with a giant sized dose of perspective and a reminder of the fragility of life.
Lately, my husband and I feel like we are on a bit of a hamster wheel. We are the best of friends who have a life we cherish together. Children we adore. A house we literally built together. Jobs we both love and in which we each find a sense of pride. But underneath it all, we feel like we are on auto-pilot. I doubt we are alone in this feeling. The days pass and we wonder if there is anything we’ve done worth accomplishing. We are drained. We’ve lost perspective as we’ve gone about checking off the the world’s view of what each next step in life should look like.
With the reminder that life is fragile, I was thankful that God in His mercy had given me a moment in the midst of the chaos and imperfection to calm my soul and help me look up so I didn’t miss the beauty He’d created. He was kind enough to speak to my spirit about making the things that matter, matter because I’m just not.
The value that God has placed on parenting is of utmost importance. My children will see what role God plays in my daily hustle and bustle. They have a front row seat to my walk with the Lord. From where they sit, I’m sure it’s not always a pretty view. The things I’ve chosen to treasure don’t often hold eternal value.
There will always be laundry, homework, dirt, after school activities or another work-related emergency. But there won’t always be fidgety little boys willing to come sit near their momma before it’s even light outside.
Lord, thank You for a sun that rises and sets and for the moments in between that provide us with opportunities to raise little people who grow to love You. May they see us chasing fast after Your heart and the things that matter to You.
Deuteronomy 6:5-9 MSG
Love God, your God, with your whole heart: love him with all that’s in you, love him with all you’ve got!
Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder; inscribe them on the doorposts of your homes and on your city gates.